Child Psychology Q&A

Corinne Abisgold has practiced as a Child and Educational Psychologist for over 16 years and has a wealth of experience in working with children and young people from the ages of 2- 19 years.

Corinne is a chartered Psychologist and a Member of the Association of Educational Psychologists and the British Psychological Society. Here, she answers your child psychology Q&As...

Q. My 3 year-old has such a temper and gets easily frustrated. He screams, kicks and hits. He just won't listen to me when I try to calm him down. It’s particularly embarrassing when it happens in public places. What should I do?
Eleanor, Stockport

A. When children are very distressed they can't be reasoned with as their brain is too agitated to listen. Try to identify what are the triggers to his frustration. Is it happening at a particular time of the day, week? If it happens predominantly in public places ask yourself is this because in those situations your attention is away from him for longer periods? If so try to shorten or avoid such situations for a while. Make sure you have a dedicated time each day when he has your undivided attention doing something that he leads and you follow. Protect this time at all costs and then you can ask more of him for short periods when you need him to go without your attention for a short time.

Q. My two year-old has become incredibly fussy when it comes to eating. I have tried everything but she seems to only want to eat a few things, baked beans, toast and pasta with tomato sauce. I am worried about her health. What do I need to do to get her to eat a wider variety of food?
Louise, Didsbury

A. Don't worry about her restricted diet. She is eating enough to maintain her health. Ignore any refusals and do not make it an emotional issue. Very subtly try to widen her intake by adding extras eg. puree some vegetable into the pasta sauce. Make sure you sit and eat with her and demonstrate your enjoyment of your food without placing any attention on her not liking the same food. Feeding your child is a very emotive issue for all parents so ask others to support and encourage your ignoring eg. your partner, any other siblings and make sure they do the same. Remind yourself it will get better over time but is unlikely to change quickly.

Q. Our two and a half year-old boy refuses to use the potty or the toilet but isn't happy when he has a dirty nappy and gets upset. How can I toilet train him?
Georgina, Chorlton

A. Begin by putting the nappy changing area next to the toilet and encourage him to put his dirty nappy in the bin. Keep his nappy off when he is at home when possible so he feels the need to go without his nappy and praise him if he tells you he needs to go. Try to monitor the time of day he opens his bowels and ask him to sit on the potty at this time whilst you read to him or do something else he enjoys. Take the focus off asking him to ‘go’ rather just to sit for a while. Build up the time and reward/praise him for sitting on it. If he uses the potty make a very positive fuss of him.

Q. My three year-old will not go to bed. I put her to bed at 7.30pm but she spends the evening running around her bedroom and the landing anddoesn't sleep until about 11pm. She is always tired and grumpy in the afternoons. How can I get her to bed and to sleep earlier?
Susanna, Old Trafford

A. It’s great that you have a set bedtime. Make sure it isn't a little late for her and that she isn't becoming overtired. Avoid pre-bedtime being too stimulating. Make sure there is a wind down time including a bath and story. Then bedtime should be a very set routing of activity. Use the same language eg. “Time to go to sleep". Take her to bed and snuggle her down and then leave the room. If she calls out reassure her verbally from outside the room in a very relaxed manner eg. “Night night go to sleep now". If she gets out of bed firml, without any verbal attention put her back in bed. Say the same thing as at initial bed time "Night night time to go to sleep" Try as much as is humanly possible to stay calm and not let her see that you are frustrated. Repeat the same response each time she gets out of bed. Do not reward her by introducing any other activity or verbal reaction. Persist and keep it up for as long as it takes to establish that she stays in bed. Ask others to support you by praising your consistency. Make sure that if you aren't there the same routine is followed by others.

For more information about Corinne Abisgold’s services, please visit www.corinneabisgold.co.uk

If you would like Corinne to answer a question about your child’s behaviour or emotional well being, please submit it into the form below.

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