Child Psychologist Q&A

My three year old little girl is a really good sleeper and has never been allowed in my bed. However she has started to wake up in the night wanting to get into my bed as she is seeing monsters. I don't allow it and she ends up being awake for over an hour or more. What should I do?

It is perfectly normal for children at this age to become scared at night and to need a parent to help to reassure them. It might be worth trying to comfort your daughter by taking her to her bed and sitting next to her or getting into bed with her and helping her get to sleep before returning to your own bed. This can be time consuming but will help to meet your daughter's needs whilst keeping your own space for yourself in your room.

My little boy who's six is obsessed with all thing to do with death. He loves war films and gore. It all seems a bit morbid and I am not quite sure what I should do. Is this normal?

At this age your son may be starting to understand the finality and permanency of death. His play and conversation may reflect this which can be distressing for parents but try not to worry and take an active role in responding to this by being honest about death but from a gentle perspective (e.g. talking about plants dying or animals). I would suggest that he should not be shown war films or violent films as these are often not a true portrayal of real life and therefore may give your son a skewed view of death and may be upsetting for him to watch.

It sounds like there has been a sudden change here and I would suggest that a change may be seen again in the future where your daughter will want daddy involved again. In the meantime she sounds like she feels a need for your involvement and if her daddy can be patient, his time will come again!

I have 20 month old and a 4 year old, both girls. Up until recently they have got on really well but something has changed and now they just argue all the time. It completely wearing my husband and me out. We can't leave them playing together for more than 5 minutes without it turning into a fight - screaming, kicking and crying. What should we do to stop it?

This is a common difficulty with siblings and can be exhausting for parents and then you will not feel at your best. Sometimes a practical solution can be useful. If your daughters are not getting on well together at the moment it may be helpful to keep them apart just to break the cycle of behaviour. At the same time it may be beneficial to give them a little more attention and playtime with you or your husband to help everyone to focus on having a positive time.